Posted on by cmartinmaas

Update on Life

Welcome back!

I’d like to say that I’m one of those moms that have everything planned out for each day and I have a schedule I stick to for me and my kids. But I’m not and I don’t. I’m winging it. Shit gets done though so I don’t think I’m going to change anything. Sometimes Michael will start on his homework right away in the morning and sometimes we don’t get to it until the afternoon. The day it was really nice out, he didn’t do any homework. Other than being inside to make meals and my classes I needed to be present for, we stayed outside. I loved it.

There are pro’s to being stuck social distancing right now. As much as being stuck inside drives me crazy, especially the days it’s not nice enough to go outside, I’m loving the time I get to spend with my kids. As we were sitting outside whatever day it was(they all blur together at this point) all I could think about was that those memories and moments never would have happened if Michael was in school and I was in school or at work. I get to be there for every new thing Willow learns and every roll she makes. She’s going to be crawling by the time this thing is over and I don’t have to worry about not being there the first time she does. One thing I always hated was that I felt like I was at work more than I was at home with Michael. If I wasn’t working I felt like I was failing him as a mom for not being able to provide for him. During this time it’s still super stressful trying to figure out how I’ll manage things but luckily there are things that can help me get through it and I finally get to spend that quality time with him. All the things that I didn’t get to experience with him when he was a baby, I get to with Willow.

But with every pro there’s a con.. Man I could use a break. Michael is starting to rebel and not want to do is homework or go to bed at night. He thinks he needs to be on his iPad all the time and I HATE when kids spend so much time on electronics. I have never and will never be that mom that shoves a phone in her kids face so she doesn’t have to deal with them whining. Michael can either spend his whole day throwing a fit about it or he can go play with his toys or go outside if the weather is nice enough. Back to the homework topic. I am doing terrible at turning his homework in. Mine is always turned in on time but I never think to get his in. I got a week behind before his teacher finally reached out to me and I forced myself to sit down and get it all sent in. It takes forever though! It’s the slowest process taking pictures of everything and each assignment takes forever to load and then even longer to actually go through. I do not recommend google classroom. As soon as I’m done getting all of his stuff loaded, Willow is usually mad for attention.

So as much as I love getting to watch Willow learn new things and grow, she is getting soooo clingy. Now is the time where it would be best for her to be in daycare so she learns that mom isn’t always around and that she can’t rely on the boob to sooth her all the time. She’s going through her “fifth leap”. I have an app that tells me when she is going through development leaps to know when to expect her to get fussy, TheWonderWeeks, I love it. Right now the leap she is going through is being able to tell that there is distance between objects. Which means now she can tell when mom leaves the room or isn’t two inches from her face. Since she thinks she needs all of the attention, I have yet to start and finish an assignment without having to stop and get her because she’s crying. I’m not complaining though, I knew what I was signing up for when I enrolled for school knowing I’d have a newborn.

Posted on by cmartinmaas

College Life

Welcome and Hello!

Is college as I expected it to be? Not really. I definitely wasn’t expecting a pandemic to happen in the middle of my first semester. What a twist.

I did expect it to be a lot harder, super thankful I was wrong on that one. Or maybe it is but because I waited to know for sure what I wanted to do and that I know I can’t mess up so I’m more determined to succeed. Or maybe the first semester is misleading and I have no idea what’s coming. I also wasn’t expecting to be so bothered by not having a 100% in all of my classes, like is that even possible? You’d think having straight A’s would be good enough but I jump on extra credit opportunities to get as close to a 100% as I can.

I wasn’t expecting to socialize with anyone while in school. I assumed everyone would be way younger than me, which I wasn’t totally wrong about. I don’t think there is anyone is my classes my age or a parent as well. I’m not expecting to leave school with any new friends but there’s a few kids that I don’t mind talking to. Honestly probably still not going to go out of my way to have conversations with anyone though, it’s a little hard to talk to people at a different maturity level than you, I tried.

The instructors have been way cooler than I was expecting too. I didn’t think they would be mean or hard asses like you read about in big fancy college settings but I never thought they would be as laid back as they are. They take school seriously and make sure everyone does what they are supposed to, but they also make sure we enjoy it along the way. Also, they are super understanding, I honestly thought me having to pump would be a problem that I was either going to have to fight or figure out how to manage but everyone went way above and beyond to find me a place and never made me feel like it was an inconvenience. I was also afraid that having my kids at home with me while I do the class meetings would be a problem. Sometimes it is a little hard to stay focused when Michael is constantly asking for things(even though I specifically send him to his room and tell him not to bother me) or Willow is demanding things. I’m still waiting for my luck to run out and have Willow start crying in the middle of me talking or presenting something though. But so far I haven’t been told it’s an issue and I’d like to think if she would start crying in the middle that they would be understanding about it.

I guess I wasn’t sure what to expect from college. Homework, tests, projects, the usual standard stuff that school requires. I haven’t had to write any long papers yet, but I don’t think I’d mind doing one or two, I like typing.

Biggest thing I did not expect out of school. Actually enjoying writing blogs. Somehow it’s therapeutic, mostly because I use it as a journal and I get to talk, well write, about things that I usually don’t get to talk about. I honestly thought it would be something I’d have to force myself to do the bare minimum every week just to say I did it, but now I catch myself looking at insanely long blogs and thinking, damn I need to chill.

College is great, I love being in school and learning new things. I could spend the rest of my life in school, studying, and learning new things and never get sick of it.

Posted on by cmartinmaas

Balancing Life

Hello again!

I never imagined I would voluntarily put myself into a situation where I was juggling so many different things at once and yet I find myself in the busiest time of my life all by choice. Having kids, going to school, working, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and so much more and I wouldn’t change any of it. It gets stressful trying to find time for everything but when I remind myself that everything I am doing has a purpose and that it will be worth it in the end. I don’t get a lot of help from my kids dads. The biggest push to going to school was so I can get a stable job that pays good so I never have to worry about keeping a roof over my kids head or being able to feed them again.

To start with there’s my oldest, Michael James. He’s pretty easy to keep up with since he’s old enough to be in school all day but young enough to not have a lot of demanding homework. His only responsibility is to read a book every night and I love hearing how much progress he makes on a daily basis. It’s also easy to keep doing whatever homework I have while listening to him read. He gets himself ready for bed and usually doesn’t put up a fight when I tell him it’s time to. The biggest struggle I have with him is that I can’t really take him anywhere or do a lot of things with him now that Willow is here while she’s so young. He wants nothing more than to be outside playing in the snow right now but I can’t bring Willow out and I’m way to paranoid of something happening to him to let him go outside by himself.

Next is Willow Ann, to say she takes up the biggest chunk of my time is an understatement. As much as I love cloth diapering and am trying my hardest to stay on top of it, I end up getting behind in laundry and don’t have the time to get to it as often as I should. A lot of the time I end up doing it through out the night since I end up awake so often with her. I know all of the benefits of breastfeeding and I love the connection I have with her because of it, but it’s hard not to think about how much easier things could be if I gave up on it. I can’t remember a single assignment I have been able to complete without having to stop to feed her or to pump when shes not with me. Luckily pumping and doing homework is a lot easier than nursing while doing homework. I’ll take doing reading while nursing over trying to do accounting again any day. With the breastfeeding comes being woken up a million times a night, I can’t remember the last time I slept more than 3 hours straight and to be honest I’m not sure how I’m functioning anymore. Of course as soon as I get accustomed to my sleep schedule Willow got sick and now I spend most of my nights listening to her breath. I even spent $300 on an owlet sock to give me peace of mind, yet I am still so paranoid I can’t sleep.

I am impressed with my determination to still do as good as I can in all of my classes, I get as much done as I can in class unless I need to go home to pump. The two people that make juggling of it the hardest are the two people who drive me to getting up and going to class and getting my work done. I love that Michael can see his mom working hard on homework and feeling proud of the homework he does, he thinks it’s cool that we are both in school. Everyday we get to ask each other the same questions about how school was and what we learned that day. I feel proud of the grades that I have considering there were many times I questioned if going to school was a good idea and not thinking I could manage it was why I put it off for so long. I think it’s because I wanted until I knew it was absolutely something I wanted and needed to do that helps with the determination.

Now I just need that determination to be a good mom and good student to transfer over to being determined to keep my house clean. I need one of those signs to hang on my door about laundry piles meaning my kids have clothes to wear and dishes in the sink means they are fed. I personally things that upkeep on the house is the least important thing I have to worry about though.

Work is pretty easy to handle, I work at a daycare so I get to bring Willow with me everyday and on Fridays Michael doesn’t have school I get to bring him too. I love working with kids and I don’t know how I’ll say bye to them when I get a job here in Watertown. The only thing I don’t like about working on Friday is that it would be a perfect day for me to get homework and house work done while Michael is at school and Willow is at daycare.

It makes me think of one of the options for the blogs about a humble brag. I personally wouldn’t go on social media bragging about how well I’m doing in school and balancing being a single mom of two while I’m at it. There’s actually a pretty small group of friends and family that even know I’m enrolled, but it definitely doesn’t suck when those who do know about it say they are proud of me or believe in me.

Made it all the way to the end before Willow woke up and started demanding my attention. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Posted on by cmartinmaas

Michael James

Hello!

This weeks blog will be an introduction post for my son Michael. He is 6 years old and in the 1st grade. He was the first grand kid born on my side of the family so he was way too spoiled growing up. My sisters would buy him pretty much anything he wanted, and if it was a little pricey they would all pitch in to get it for him. His dream job is to be a crane operator and no matter how many toy cranes he receives as presents, he wants more, and he gets them.

Michael became a big brother in October of last year and has loved every second of it. He has been the best help with her even when he had a cast on his foot. If she was fussing while I was busy, he would hop on over to her and give her a paci or talk to her to calm her down. He is always asking to hold her and be involved with her, except for when she needs her butt changed. He is one of the best behaved and well mannered kids I know, which makes this single mama’s life 100% easier. I’m so excited to watch them grow up together and see what kind of bond they will have.

Earlier this year he was tested for ADHD and was confirmed he has it. Which explains a lot about his personality and how he functions. He struggles with sitting still and focusing on a specific task. Always moving from one thing to the next, never able to sit for a whole movie or play with one thing for too long. I hadn’t noticed and it wasn’t a problem until it started affecting him in school. He started to fall behind because he wouldn’t sit still and listen to the teacher and focus on his work. We started him on medication for it and he has been improving in his school work and catching up with the rest of his class.

This year he managed to break his arm on the very first day of school, chasing girls of course. Then not even a month after getting his cast off, he fractured his foot and ended up in another one. Now I’m fully prepared for any cast in the future with both an arm and a leg cast cover. The casts didn’t stop us from still having fun, thanks to the cast covers we were even still able to go swimming with the family.